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4 Nov 2004 @ 14:47, by swanny. Ideas, Creativity
TOUCHED BY GLORY(A true story)
The year was 1983, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I was living in a small house on the outskirts of the city. Strangely enough it was the house our family had lived in, in my first 2 or 3 years of life. It had been relocated from its original place and brought to this place besides the Black Mud Creek.
After a rather uneventful life, I had just gone through a divorce and was working for the government of Altberta. My divorce had so distrubed me that I had sought out professional help, also from the government. I was sort of diagnosed as having had some sort of trauma during the first two years of my life. Eventually it was revealed and remembered by my mother that I had had a convulsion at the age of 2 and had stopped breathing. My father was called and assessed the situation with the aide of a medical book and revived me a short time later by turning me upside down and spanking me. The hospital was called and I was placed under observation. Unfortunately my parent were recent immigrants to Canada and as a result I at that time only spoke German. Memories reveal that at that time I had cried for water and to go home repeatedly but no one could understand or aid me. I cried incessantly until sometime later an old cleaning lady came to my aide explaining to the charge nurse that I needed some water. I suspect the damage was done and had taken its toll. A toll that would effect me throughout my life.
At any rate, after the divorce and my breakdown, I was residing by myself in this small home. One night a friend came over and we listened to music and perhaps got high. Prior to this evening I had been experiencing flashes of red light. They would appear at odd times but usually accompanied with intense emotions and music. I felt somewhat possessed and obsessed with and by them. I had no idea what they meant. I was also experiencing time loss and electrical sensations from
household appliances. It was to say in the least, a highly disturbing time. I would sometimes have visions of myself floating in space above the Earth and looking down upon it.
I because of all this tried to get some time off work but I had exhausted all my leave time and they said, my government employer, that I would need a doctors note to gain further leave. I was under a professionals care at the time at my own expense and asked if he could provide me with that. He seemed to indicate that my situation was adverse but would not provide me with the necessary documentation so in a kind of desperation I felt I had no options left and found it necessary to quit my job and hope for the best. Little did I know what the future held in store.
I think this period was sometime after the death of John Lennon the Beatle yet one night perhaps it was the radio, I had a connection there some how. Anyway much was occurring it seemed on many and every level. Our city hockey team The Edmonton Oilers were battling for the Grey Cup. Hockey fever was in full swing and so it seemed was the cold war. It was a rather stressing and distressing time all around. I guess it was the logical progression of a breakdown and perhaps the final receiving of an uncontested divorce papers, I don't clearly remember but it signaled the end or something. I was finding it too then most difficult to separate thoughts,fantasies and realities from one an other.
My friend had come over that night for what reason I'm not sure. I think he may have been concerned for my welfare. At any rate we were perhaps high or something and then it happened. I was seated in my chair looking south across the living room. I glanced at my friend to the east of me and he seated as well seemed zonked out and preoccupied with staring at the floor. And then it happened the room sort of seemed to dissolve and I appeared to be there but it was like I was in a kind of hazy red fluid.
Everything was melted and I was simply an other melted part of it. It was heaven, timeless spaceless heaven...... the sea of Love..... I was thinking to myself I want to stay here forever or I've been here before. I had been having some thoughts about the womb around that time period ..... Feeling perhaps the Love abundant there....
My songs of the time reflecting this....." Wheres my Love"... a line from one and....
"Cinderelli where are you"..... " and it could be poetry in time if the lovers kept singing"......... and "Sunlo begone"..... a fantasy of a dragon that I was trying to slay or chase away from the children of the world who seemed in danger. Well we were all in danger it was the cold war afterall.
Here I floated in this sea of Love or heaven and then something or someone appeared there and ahead to the southeast of my chair..... I was a presence a personage of some sort that I recalled it seemed from somewhere before because I said "YOU" silently to myself..... and "knew" this but didn't know or understand it. This glowing red light hovered for a while there about 4 feet away and then came over to me and passed its hand or something through me where my heart was and where incidentally I had spilled a pot of boiling water on me at the age of
four.
Somehow there appeared to be some kind of exchange of information or something and just as suddenly it seemed it and the sea disappeared and I was left
sitting there with the worst splitting headache. I looked east to my friend and he was still zonked staring at the floor. I abruptly said I had to go to bed and left because it was all to much somehow.
As much as I have thought about it over the years I have been unable to make sense of it . What or who was this red light that hovered at heart level above the ground. How or what had it done to me by touching me. The touch was like a certainty of something..... death perhaps. I felt that that touch should have killed me but I lived if you can call it that somehow. I struggled endlessly to identify and sort out that night until I just had to let go of it because it haunted and possessed me so over the years. I dared not tell anyone perhaps only one or two because it was too real or at least so real that I felt I could not deny it. Yet I had to come to deny it myself because it was or seemed so creditless somehow. Certainly it would have been considered crazy talk or such. So over the years the memory has diminished and the quest left unanswered. Yet just recently I read a passage about "GLORY" and a kind of certainty came over me. A ringing true of what it was.
I then on that night of spring of 1983 had witnessed and been touched by Glory.
Ed
Nov 4 2004
Canada More >
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 2 Nov 2004 @ 09:01, by jazzolog. Ideas, Creativity
Past mind is not attainable,
present mind is not attainable,
future mind is not attainable.
---The Diamond Sutra
The moon
abiding in the midst of
serene mind;
billows break
into light.
---Dogen
Study the Way and never grow old
distrust emotions
truth will emerge
sweep away your worries
set even your body aside
autumn drives off the yellow leaves
yet spring renews every green bud
quitely contemplate the pattern of things
nothing here to make us sad
---Shih-Shu
Bingham, George Caleb: The County Election (no.2), 1852
This arrived yesterday in the regular mail from John Tagliabue, my friend, poet/teacher, who refuses (at 81) to learn about computers. He does like me to send his stuff out into cyberspace though...so here it comes~~~
"I'm against fanaticism and nationalism of all kinds---including American. And I'm in favor of giving more strength to the UNITED NATIONS. All my long life I was patriotically active praising the best American values---of Franklin, Jefferson, Henry Adams, Emerson, Thoreau, Melville, Whitman, many others. And now I feel it is especially IMPORTANT to vote against those primarily supporting American imperialism and the Military Industrial Complex and Profit Motives....important to lead to programs primarily concerned with moral social values, moral values to help the working and middle classes and not and not the plutocrats with interest primarily concerned with stocks and bonds and Corporations. More >
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 31 Oct 2004 @ 05:32, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
Hallowe'en
I walked among the tombstones,
One dark and stormy night.
There was a chill deep in my bones,
My hair swirled 'round in fright. More >
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23 Oct 2004 @ 05:07, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
The Winds Do Blow
The winds tore through our town the other day. Watching out the window at work reminded me of scenes of tornado winds. I knew though that these winds were no comparison to those incredible raging blasts. I dared not wander around the trees on my walk that day, so I gazed wistfully as the storm blew by,making the trees dance almost gaily. More >
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16 Oct 2004 @ 21:26, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
The Black Raven Sails
The tattered forms walked the rotten scow
Wind blew the sails and rocked the bow
Ghosts of the Black Raven were aboard
A filthy crew and haunted hoard More >
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 11 Oct 2004 @ 15:50, by quinty. Ideas, Creativity
Once upon a time there was a cave. Nobody knew very much about it except that it was quite large. And that when you looked inside it was dark. More >
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 9 Oct 2004 @ 04:11, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
The Raven King
Rascaminous raven squires his gleaming coat
His eyes flashing in golden reflected sunrises
Holding the wind up in his wandering circles
And swooping strafes by the seeded fields More >
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8 Oct 2004 @ 15:17, by craiglang. Ideas, Creativity
An interesting observation from the creative writing class I am currently taking.
We are presently working on writing fiction at this point in the course, and discussing the key things needed in a good story. One of the things needed in a (good and interesting) story is a drama of some form. This generally takes the form of a conflict - which is required to make the story interesting.
This is an interesting contrast to what I've been studying in the Eastern Tradition. In studying Vedic philosophies and the meditative traditions, I have noted that it is generally a goal to somehow transcend drama. On the road to enlightenment, it is an objective to simply be, rather than do. More >
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8 Oct 2004 @ 04:04, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
Hello, Raven
When I was a young mother and my oldest son was about four years old, we had a strange experience. I was divorced and I was living with my mother. We had a very large black cat named Maynard, a Siamese named Tillicum and several fish. We obviously loved animals. There was a park nearby and the river not too far either. The small park was at the end of the street and always had joggers running around it and kids playing soccer. More >
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4 Oct 2004 @ 05:43, by skookum. Ideas, Creativity
Earth Mother
Earth Mother I feel you in my soul
Pulsing
Swaying
Your energy swings me to far places
I ride your waves of joy and sorrow
I rest in your warm soft embrace at night More >
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