5 May 2003 @ 14:43, by sharie
I always wanted to be able to write a great love letter...
and a great love song...
one that would express my deepest love and appreciation...
I get the feeling nobody here is really interested in love.
I'm shocked and stunned and startled by the intensity of the anger being expressed. If only people had the same intense feeling of love, if only they'd realize that nobody else is going to create their experience but themselves...
if they want to waller in anger, frustration, insults, misery, finger pointing, complaining... it's all a mystery to me, but it's certainly their right if they choose.
I suppose they're angry at the state of the world AND at what's going on in their personal lives AND they're angry at their parents - or lack thereof - AND they're angry at their children - or lack thereof - AND they're angry at their partner - or lack therof - AND they're angry at themselves... OR they're just angry at me that I would dare to say "thanks, but no thanks" ...
maybe they haven't figured out the choice is theirs.
I don't care to carry around that kind of anger, I've felt it, I don't want it... I've been through more hell than most anybody that's left livin' - except for Kay - and she's not wallerin' in anger either, so it's no mystery that it's all about choice.
Sure, we can choose to be angry, seething through our teeth, pretending we're trapped and helpless. I'm not going to pretend somebody has that kind of power over me, because it would be an absolute lie.
I know that what I experience is my own making and I have no desire to waller in misery. Been there, done that. Twelve years ago my doctor told me I was dying, I was being eaten alive by every micro-organism that passed my way, and people were stealing money from me and anything else they could get their hands on, the doctors were lying, the lawyers were lying... everybody was "pissed off". What a hellhole. I don't care to be eaten alive anymore, especially not by my own anger... and certainly not by anybody else's anger either. I say, "no" and "no thanks". It's my choice, no question.
I don't think anger gives me a power position or makes me a righteous rebel. I can see right through myself, and I wouldn't dare be that phoney.
I'm happy. The angry people are probably "pissed off" at that too.
whoop-ti-doo
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