questioning existance 2 comments

15 Oct 2002 @ 11:19, by sean king Sometimes I feel like running away and abandoning all the binds that I constantly tangle myself with in this material world. But to do this I need to find the place that is beyond material, that is with out substance and form. And after many years searching, I have come to terms that this place exists somewhere else beyond the earths pretty face. It can become overwhelmingly difficult when you are on a quest to find the greater than what you know, like trying to be invisible in a visable world. After all my struggling, and don't think twice, my struggles are ever present, I begun to use my struggles as alies on my quest for the perfect in perfection For so long I have denied everything I know to be true because somewhere I heard that there was more, a better than what I am kind of more. So I took this too literaly and lost myself believing it. But know as time rolls on, I realize that the more is not something entirely different than what I am and what I understand up to this moment, it is simply the evolvement of my individual aspects. Its like a scientist who spends his whole life in a labratory and in text creating theories in his mind of what it is all about, but all the while never actually going out to collect data from his obsevances of the true existance of things, all of his reaserch consists of others interpretations of their own experience. But when this scientist finally makes his pilgramige to experience first hand the topics he has studied his whole life, there is no way that all he has learned so far is false or mislead, and that he has to start over and destroy all he knows thus far, his mind is simply developing and learning to view an object from all spectrums of its entirety. So what I have had to come to terms with is the fact that I am evolving and constantly growing, and to run away from what I understand is like the apple that denies the tree its attached to, it just makes the growth process a continuous struggle. I stand where I am and how I am for a reason that is not comprimisable, imagine a flower that wishes not to grow towards the sky or never wants to open to reveal its beautifull colors. You can't. So instead of trying to close yourself out from the world in hopes to find a more spiritual existance, open your eyes wide and learn from all that is around you, we wouldn't have eyes if if we weren't meant to use the world to develope our mind. And, oh yeah, have some fun, it simply IS a fun quest we are on, there is no way to mature with out your sense of humor, so be what you dream and and dream of what you want to be.

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