My Personal Monster 7 comments

30 Jun 2004 @ 11:37, by Marissa A Spencer My Personal Monster Sometimes a person can have an experience that really defies the things you’ve been taught all your life. Human beings are very prone to self-deception, and I am not immune from this malady. I have not recently been able to do much meditation or reflection lately. My life seems to have taken a hectic turn recently. I do, however, try to remember the lessons I have been taught. A few years ago I was very internally conflicted, I guess one would say. I have my share of neurosis and issues, just like most. I am in a sincere quest to better myself so I can be healthy and productive in life. I suppose you could say I am driven, but not in excess. I was taking metaphysics class with one of my fellow reiki practitioners. He was teaching about meditation and other forms of inspiration and spiritual communication. I had started meditating, (no I have not done so lately), and very concerned with figuring out where I fit in the scheme of things and what I was supposed to accomplish here. One afternoon, I was very tired and lay down to take a rest. I was suddenly overcome with a strange fatigue. I felt different. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was instantly somewhere else. This was not a dream, per se, but some kind of experience unlike any I have ever had. There before me, suspended and writhing in fluid horror was a black creature. It did not seem to have any particular form. It hovered menacingly, reaching its disgusting tentacles toward me. I was both horrified and fascinated. I reached out and grabbed at the floating form. Each time I grasped at it, part of it would come off in my hands. I continued doing so until there was nothing left of the terrifying creature. I thought, “What is this creature?” A voice said softly in my mind. “These are your fears.” © June 30, 2004 Marissa A Spencer

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