3 Jun 2006 @ 19:59, by Gary Zalben
Human love in marriage or relationships cannot last unless it divinely expresses itself. If you do not have the power of magnetizing divine love whose source is alone in God, marriage will fail to entertain. That means the husband should start quitting some of his baseball, football, hockey, boxing, and all the sports of the world. I have a friend who spends six hours watching football games when they are on; it is one football game after another, but married people are supposed to entertain each other and care for each other.
Married couples fail to respect one another and when that happens their marriage goes on the rocks. Beauty, sex charms, intellectuality, personal magnetism, and culture are not enough to happily keep married couples together when "divine love" is not there. What does that mean? Love is not a human quality. Love is God himself. When you love people you have allowed God to flow through you momentarily. It is He who loves when you think you love your mother; it is He who loves your mother; it is He who loves your father and; it is He who loves your children. You are being blessed being the recipient of that love. You must understand it is God who loves the wife through the husband and it is God who loves the husband through the wife. If neither one is spiritual nor you find a spiritual man or a spiritual woman... do not get married; you will not be loved. This is what every mother and every father should teach their children. In life we get what we deserve; but remember you have the power of prayer and if the power of prayer cannot change your husband or your wife, it would surely change you. There is one problem in married life; do you know what that is? You always want to be understood, isn’t it? You can not; no more than you can understand each other. We have twelve billion neurons in our brain, each brain has different neurons. Therefore to be able to communicate with one another the psycho neuron biochemistry in the brain must be in tune. So how are you going to change each others brain? To get in tune with each other you will need to change the chemistry of your brain by meditating together.
Every thought, every action is based upon a burst of energy which directs the neuron biochemistry into our brain and unless we get in tune with love, it is impossible to understand each other except through that love. Love embraces, love understands all things, and it becomes intuitive. Many people have so many prejudices in their minds simply because they are frustrated. Do you know where those frustrations come from? They come from the inner loneliness which your husband or your wife can never fill. God has made his creation full proof...without Him you will never know love. The less love you have the lonelier you feel. The lack of love is the lack of God. Your soul has forgotten its relationship with God through countless incarnations. In your subconscious mind deeply buried is the remembrance of His bliss. We can get in touch with this bliss through meditation. Someone asked about marriage in front of two thousand people: “When the romantic spark in marriage has dulled and it seems that I as a wife can never do enough or be enough or pray enough for help because I don’t have enough energy, enthusiasm or time for unselfish devotion anymore; are we both to simply act out our role as spiritual marriage because it’s right to do so without any feeling with it? How can we really make this relationship more meaningful when I feel spiritually drained like a draft horse in harness with my fellow teammate? We are certainly not mounting God-ward with wings as eagles.” Now, this woman was very poetical, that was magnificent. Well, my dear, the moment we enter into this world we enter into the collar of a straight jacket, remember that.
Here are the qualifications for a perfect marriage; a marriage so utterly beautiful that every day you are in love without anger and in total union with your husband or wife; you can feel, think and act together in perfect unison. How can you achieve this? Do you believe it is possible? The wise masters say it is but there is a little cleaning up first before you get married and ...that is the eight menaces or snares of the heart. These are the mild forms, anger, jealousy, hostility, hatred, and cynicism, acts of violence, nagging and caustic remarks. Also included are guilt, shame, fear, insecurity, and the worst of all... gossip. Each time you criticize anybody you are automatically in tune with that person and you are pulling out the bad karma from him or her. You are taking to yourself the very bad qualities of that person. You have no idea how you are being connected. We are all connected with our brain with fibers of energy and we are one with this creation and we share the good and the bad according to how we tune in. The affection for gossiping is the affection for meanness to harm the souls of others. Even though the criticized is harmed, the one who criticizes is harmed even more. While the unjustly criticized becomes untainted, the evil wrongdoers are fated by the inescapable law of karma and are condemned by their own conscience. They are convicted to live in mental anguish in their own self-inflicted jailhouse. These are sick states of the mind and condemnation has to be cleaned up before you get married. Pride of family, race prejudice and smugness which means the highly satisfied who knows everything. Therefore that grinding process which you do not like in married life is totally natural. You are helping one another to gradually remove all the kinks and limitations you have.
If you refuse to do it in your married life and you get divorced and get married again and then divorce and get married again. Do you know where you will be in your next life? ...to a monastic order and you won’t be able to get out. This bondage which forces you to reincarnate life after life has to be worked out into the monastic order or to the married life. The best advice for selecting your mate is carefully analyzing the forces of attraction. Most people want to make an independent choice in choosing their marriage companion. This is what a parent should tell his son, or daughter when asked for advice. What are the qualities that a man should look for when he is choosing a wife? "She must be home loving and affectionate as the homing pigeon, with the loyalty of a dog, with the purity of a dove and the wisdom of an elephant, and have the sweet voice of the nightingale." What are the qualities that women should look for when she is choosing a husband? “The faithfulness of a dog, the strength and bravery of a lion, the wisdom of the elephant, be like the homing pigeon who loves his home.” Most young couples are attracted to each other because of good looks and similarities of things in common. For example, we "love" each other because we enjoy the same kind of profession and she makes a perfect business-companion. We also love the same types of movies and sports. We share the same interests in music. She understands my business which is great having a wife interested in my profession. A wrong choice could hurt my business. Never marry on impulse or when you are excited as you can mistake the pleasure of the senses for love. This type of pleasure will mislead the romantically involved. If you marry for beauty alone the rule is those attracted by beauty and good looks soon part after the good looks wane and then a pretty face could look ugly. When a woman marries for money alone or a man that would love to marry into money usually hears these words, “she married me for my money.” You can’t get rich quick marring for money. Humiliation goes with the territory for the man and the woman becomes miserable because she is never gratified with her mate; and some of these husbands beat their wives. There are those who would gain money by climbing the social ladder into society by marring for social position and these too usually end in failure. Pure love is the greatest love potion there is. You can only describe pure love when you feel it. Pure love is free from conditions and beautifies the mind and the body.
Copyright-2005-Gary Zalben - You may reprint this article as long as the author/source is kept intact. For additional life skills advice visit my website at [link]
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