Windmills Of My Mind    
 Homesickness
31 Aug 2001 @ 14:52

Homesickness


In droves they look out into the night sky
inspecting the patterns of the heavens;
aware deep within of feelings of longing,
not though knowing their origin.
Just occasionally a fleeting moment of illumination,
too soon gone,
not even really impressed upon the consciousness.
Seemingly hollow existence precipitates the silent scream
transmuting itself into the
heartfelt sob that craves comfort.
The cloak of conformity hides those who do not belong
becoming at one and the same time
a camouflage and burden as inner discomfort grows.
Concrete questions are not yet formulated
so not answered.
The horror grows, with it comes a loss of faith
and an anger that cannot find words or expression.
 Why Me? Why Me? is the cry.
 Then as the loneliness and pain threaten to destroy
a glimmer of light is spied and tenaciously held onto,
the very essence of life is at stake.
Anger finds its words,
God is challenged and answers are demanded.
No longer meek and dutiful the servant
kicks and shouts for explanations.
Awakening in full flow, there is no turning back now.
Stripped of human dignity the old form is torn asunder
and the journey home is begun.
Work here is nearly complete.
It was the mother who called, and for her touch you longed.
She is the star in your night sky,
she will guide you home as you were guided here,
with a love that is expansive but not cloying,
guiding rather than directing, asking not demanding.
The choice was yours, it was pain and limitation
but home is once again in sight.
Follow your star,
for your own kind you came,
for mankind you stayed,
for yourself you will return.
 
Christine Fitzgerald


 The Dark Night of the Soul
31 Aug 2001 @ 14:51

The Dark Night Of The Soul


Hope evaporates like a small lonely drop of water
under the searing heat of the midday sun.
Its elusive quality spied for the occasional moment
and then the gloom once again descends like a heavy wet cloak.
Living and dying become one, residing together at the same time
within the tense and fraught physical frame.
Outward appearances remain,
only the darkness of the night can hear
the silent scream that comes from the deepest recesses of the being.
Quietly, slowly, almost unobtrusively the shattering takes place.
The scream has fragmented and can no longer be heard,
even by the miserable wretch who sounded the primeval cry.
Death becomes a living, enticing entity,
its outstretched arms seem to signal a welcome,
a release, a new beginning.
It beckons with false promises, panic sets in,
so subtle it is not even discerned;
but the silent scream returns and takes on a different tone.
The voice of life now shouts and the
Soul starts to lift the darkness of its night.
Only slowly and fleetingly is the light seen at first,
patience is the longest lesson.
Gently are the disparate parts pulled together
and hope shines bright on the horizon.
Rebuilt and renewed a changed person emerges into the world,
strengthened by adversity, made wiser by experience,
and more compassionate through suffering.
The whimpering wretch who was once as a child
has become full grown, sees through different eyes
and slowly changes in accordance with the wisdom gained.
Those who have drunk deep of life's false nectar
can be the servers of the future if only they would look
inside themselves and see the jewels that already shine
and take note of the ones that await their loving attention.
 
Christine Fitzgerald


 New Twist on the Great Invocation - Part 1
28 Aug 2001 @ 15:28
Phenomenal Fields, Disintegration of the Boundaries Between Realities and the Training Needs of the Spiritual Warrior


Part 1

The term Phenomenal Field is derived from the work of the Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. For him our phenomenal field is the personal world we both create and inhabit; it encompasses our thoughts and ideas, our activities, interactions and beliefs. One of the main problems— if one can call it such—is that as we tread the path of personal and spiritual growth our phenomenal field expands, frequently so much that the boundaries between realities do begin to disintegrate. We can move from our own sphere of influence into another person’s world and share their experiences, but greater than this, we can move from our usual solidified field of activity into the watery astral level, the airy mental level, experience first hand, events from previous or future lives or communicate with beings from other realms.

The reason for bringing this subject up is that while meditating recently and reciting the Great Invocation I was directed to ponder on a different wording. If we take the original words and then compare them to the other phrasing we see some very subtle but possibly far-reaching differences, and differences that I think are worth exploring because it would seem that within them we could find clues to the state of humanities evolution and events that we may have to witness unfolding. Changes are in bold Italics as follows:-

First verse:-

Original Version:-
From the point of Light within the mind of God
Let light stream forth into the minds of men
Let light descend on Earth.

From the point of Light within the mind of God
Let light stream forth into the minds of men.
Let Light shine forth from earth.


The end of this verse was previously—”Let light descend on Earth”, now we have “Let Light shine forth from Earth”. Are we here looking at an expectation that the light that has been focussed on earth can now not only be absorbed but also reflected outwards as well?

The second verse:-

Original Version:-
From the point of Love within the Heart of God
Let Love stream forth into the hearts of men.
May Christ return to Earth.

From the point of Love within the Heart of God
Let Love stream forth into the hearts of men.
May the Christ Spirit be anchored on earth.


Does this suggest that Christ will not return to earth in physical form to lead us to greater things as so many hope? Or perhaps it is suggesting that the Christ Spirit now has, or soon will have enough energy for it to be permanently anchored on Earth. Have we now reached spiritual critical mass?

Verse Three:-

Original Version:-
From the centre where the Will of God is known
Let purpose guide the little wills of men -
The purpose which the Masters know and serve.

From the centre where the Will of God is known.
Let the work move on
With naught to impede its progress.


This seems to move from one request to another, but the latter carries much more insistence and although it is worded as a request one gets the feeling that nothing will be allowed to impede progress.

Verse Four:-

Original Version:-
From the centre which we call the race of men
Let the plan of Love and Light work out.
And may it seal the door where evil dwells.

From the centre which we call the race of men
Let Light and Love shine
And may Divine Alchemy continue unhindered.


This final verse is the cruncher. Alchemy, as we know turns base metal into gold. The same symbology taken to a global level would suggest that base animal instincts should be turned into higher spiritual ideals, ambitions and action. Could we here be looking at global kundalini? I personally think we are and that we are in for a rough ride.

I’ll be looking at the kundalini aspects and its associated movement through the chakras in more detail in the next issue, in the mean-time I’ll leave you to mull it over.

☺Chris Fitzgerald

An exploration of what I do know, don't know and would like to know.


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