N Marion Hage    
 The Battle Rages On3 comments
picture28 Feb 2006 @ 22:52
The inhabitants of this world go about their business in ignorance, buying, selling, immersing themselves in a variety of of diversions. Yet, a battle rages on for the preservation of their race.

On the borders beyond the western wood a Seer awaits the coming of a monstrous race. His staff has burst into flames, and he will fight again on behalf of the human race.

The clock is ticking and enemy grows stronger. Unless the nations awaken to the threat, the world will be anhilated.

* Photo is property of N Marion Hage. It was taken by Susan Demko and Jim Jasterzinski. Photo Art and Costume by N Marion Hage.  More >

 Awaiting the Chalone Estay0 comments
picture27 Feb 2006 @ 19:04
The Frodo myth is broken. In a fantasy, one hero can break the back of an evil tyrant. In reality, thousands of heroes are needed in every generation, or the unseen ones will be freed again. Through deception they enticed new followers, ignorant ones who would be glad to unlock their bonds.

It takes little more than offering vain promises to entice men with hopes of wealth and pleasure. Such tactics have unleashed upon this world those bent on destroying our planet. They succeeded before and will again unless mankind awakens to its plight. Ca...... the Seer is not the answer. He looks for the coming of the Chalone Estay, a title, not a name.

Before the second forming of our world, a Chalone Estay fought against the Dr..... and for a moment prevailed, unleashing powers never seen before in any world; and still our world fell to the stronger race from another realm.

The Fi..... turned the lands into angry cauldrins of fire, and pummeled continents until all was destroyed. Yet a remnant was spared.

This same evil lives on. It will take more than one champion to defend the world, but who will listen to the words of the Seers, the weary gatekeepers and watchers over our world?
 More >

 I wanted to add some pictures.6 comments
picture24 Feb 2006 @ 21:00
Digital art is relatively new and who knows where the boundaries will end, especially with 3-D potential. When I create digital pieces, I prefer to begin with something living or a beautiful piece of landscape rather than a color palate, and then build around it. At times I'll leave traces of a mountain or leaf within an abstract picture, tying the art to reality.

Here is a piece of art in progress.  More >

 Unfeeling1 comment
category picture24 Feb 2006 @ 20:32
The poem "Unfeeling" is a play on words. The term is first used to portray callousness to the feelings of others. In the last sentence it is used to portray protection from hurt.

The poem is autobiographical, describing a dark period in my life where I was ganged up on by some older kids.

Although the poem is meant to be cathartic to those who feel loneliness and pain, it is also meant to offer an insight. "Turning off our feelings" is not the answer. It may seem like the answer in a given moment where we are overwhelmed by what seems vicious animals attacking. However, they can only do what they do because they are "Unfeeling".

Our ability to feel is what makes us human, and so, turning that off may numb pain but also make us insensitive to the feelings of others.

When I was a child, I saw through childish eyes, and even interpreted events through a childish perspective. It was real to me as a child. At the time, I was about fourteen, and this eighteen year old came up to me with a baseball bat in his hand and started poking me with it. I didn't know him very well, and imagine he was showing off for some girls (bet they were impressed) Well, his punk friend snuck up behind me and shoved a fistfull of dirt in my face, into my eyes, up my nose...When I was on the ground getting kicked, a crowd of my peers cheered these two on, because Gabe was adorable, "Kick his ....Gabe!"

Well, let's just say this event was the icing on a very bleak cake, and emotionally I died then and there and for a time was in such pain (long story) I quit. I wanted to be numb. Well, I was hardly numb, and in fact, quite suicidal.

Fast-forward, numbness never works in real life. Neither does self-loathing or seeing life as an unwanted burden thrust upon us. Life is really a gift if we have the right perspective. But we can make choices that cloud our perspective(Sometimes subconsciously) These choices we make in ignorance make us less human, hardened, angry, bitter. And so, we have to take the risk of feeling again to be set free.

Obviously an accepting/loving environment, surrounded by patient and non-judgmental people helps. But we don't always get that.

I have learned that the walls we often erect to protect ourselves becomes the very walls of our own prison. Living is a risk, and one worth taking; but when we endured hard periods where vulnerability allowed others to hurt us, we might not have thought that way.

And indeed, as children, we form our view of life, the very filters through which our future, our relationships, our hopes (if we have them) are seen.

Becoming a whole person sometimes requires reconstruction. We must rip down wrong ways of thinking and futile views life, and replacing them with healthier perspectives. Past wounds might cause me to assume all the world is unloving, and I can't trust anyone. This wrong belief may then prevent me from knowing love as I push others away, or place conditions on relationships that weary those who would try to love me. Defensiveness to pain may lead to loneliness and more pain, creating the circumstances for an even more painful life.

I am loved, and it doesn't suck being me. I no longer see as a child. For years I wanted Gabe to know how much he hurt me. I grew to be a very athletic six feet eight inches. For those who don't know what that is, picture that as roughly the same size of a standard doorway. Years later I saw Gabe, and wanted to confront him. Then I saw these adorable children, perhaps three or four, running up to their daddy. I imagine Gabe probably never remembered tormenting me that day, or sending me into a suicidal spin that lasted years and almost killed me. And unless he's reading this, he probably never will.

What I realized was that Gabe didn't control my destiny. His children loved him, and perhaps he grew to be a wonderful husband, father, and person. I chose to let it go, and move on with my life, and I said a prayer for him that he would have a blessed life.

Below is the poem, and instead of seeing it through a healed perspective, I tried to capture exactly what I felt when I went through that very harsh period of my life.  More >

 Explaining the Pictures Below2 comments
category picture23 Feb 2006 @ 14:06
When some see the pictures below, they might misconstrue the meaning. Contrary to what some might think, I haven't flipped my lid, and do not walk around with a Seer Staff and long flowing robes. LOL- not to demean those that do.

How the pictures came about: Awhile back I was doing a bit of writing, and was asked for photos. I figured some day I'd need some for book covers as well, so I asked a friend to do a photoshoot that lasted three hours at three sites. Susan Demko and her husband Jim Jasterzinski took all these photos.

Before this, my wife told me we were invited to a costume party. I'm 6'8" tall, and can't buy a costume off the shelf. So, I decided to make my own, wanting to go as Gandalf the White. Well, I just couldn't find the right fabrics on sale and took what I could get. The robe (before photo-editing is golden) And so, I stuck with the Seer idea, and decided to put a face on a character from a book I've written.

The costume shots were for the blog/Website I'm planning, depicting situations from the books. At the present time I'm starting to shop for a literary agent. The poor writing in the articles was primarily because of my cryptic attempts not to tell too much story or use character names until after I land an agent/publisher, and find out what they think I should do. (sample chapter...etc)

Here's what I look like, and a sample of poems from a great poetry site: [link]  More >



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True love is more than a feeling, it's an act of the will. Feelings can be fleeting, and should be the tail in our decision making process, and never the head. In other words, if I don't feel like loving today, I should not avoid doing what love requires on that basis. If someone needs me, I must look at our relationship, and make an informed choice to sometimes show love when I least feel like it.

We understand that parents must be there for children, even when they anger us, or disappoint us. This same principle is true for all relationships.


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2006-10-31
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  • Cartemay on the Shore
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    If I waited to do the right thing until I was "moved" to do the right thing, most times, the right thing wouldn't get done. For this reason, we need a hierarchy of values and principles. For me, love is the highest value. If I pass someone in need, I may not feel particularly loving on that day. In fact, helping them may be an inconvenience, or worse. It may cost me. It's not what we do that we 'feel like doing', that often defines us, but what we do when we don't feel much like doing it. I can hug someone who makes me feel squishy with delight. It's hugging those I don't feel like hugging, because in my will, I do care, that defines me. If I care, but my feelings are disconnected, this doesn't make me insincere. It makes me realize that sometimes my feelings lag behind what I know to be right. Often, I have reached out to people that I didn't really feel warm feelings for. In fact, some were difficult and cold. However, I often was rewarded by seeing the light of life sparked in their eyes. Sometimes we are like a match that kindles a warm flame in a cold fireplace. They have the fuel, but need someone to light it. I have never regreted the risks of love, but have often regreted not taking the risk. Love the unlovely. Love the seemingly unloveable. I don't mean you should risk putting yourself before hostility. In that case, you might want to get a second or third opinion. But in most cases, we pass cold and distant people, and they seem as walking dead. Sometimes its simply because of fear and inner loneliness, and they are beaten down and afraid to open up. The risks of love pale in comparrison to the rewards.