2001-10-20 08:36:55 -- 20 ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"



20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...

1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.





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Little Notes
(from kids)


Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm having fun at Grandmas and Grandpas.
When can I come home? Grandma likes
to hug and kiss me a lot. Grandpa tells
me the same story everyday.
Who is taking out the garbage?
I miss my dog.
Can you come and get me now?
Love, your son, Alex

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"My Mom sings to the dog," said Ashley.
"What does the dog do?" I asked.
"He can't stand it," she replied, "he walks away."

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Dear Santa,
I need lots of toys for this year and the
next year and the next year too.
I can't write every year." Love, Brian




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Dear Landlord...


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(Rumoured to be actual excerpts from letters people wrote to their landlords!)

"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

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"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."

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"The lavatory is blocked, because of the boys next door playing with their balls on the roof."

"The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"

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"Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done, as my wife is about to become an expectant mother."

"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

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"The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."

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"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."

"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink."

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"I am still having trouble with a smell in my drawers."

"Our kitchen floor is very damp. We have two children and would like a third, so will you please send a man to do something about it."

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Alien dance

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